Short on time to see Thailand? Start walking!

I was impressed by Bangkok’s metro system:  quiet, clean (its fatally limited reach notwithstanding).  That said, let’s move on to my first experience with Thailand’s “long-distance” infrastructure.

At Bangkok’s rail hub, I bought a ticket to Ayutthaya, the ancient capital two hours north (the ticket actually cost less than my taxi fare to the train station, about which I have mixed feelings…).  Everything seemed to be in order.  However, as I sat in the stifling exhaust of idling trains, the departure time came and went with no locomotive in sight.  Forty-five uneventful minutes later, the staff at the info desk estimated the train would be 20 minutes yet.  But wait–a ray of hope!  A kindly station guard asked where I was going and pointed me toward a Track 6 train–which had the major advantage of actually being at the platform–also going my way.  I boarded and was soon underway.

Well… “underway.”  The train crawled out of the station at what must have been 10 mph.  But, once clear, it did not accelerate as I’d expected.  Little track-side sheds, for example, remained in view for a painfully long time.  Next, the train fell into a rhythm of stopping completely–with an ear-splitting screech of breaks–every three minutes or so.  We would proceed to idle for another three minutes, as car and pedestrian traffic swept by.  Half-an-hour into the ordeal, I was quite incredulous that this was considered train service.  I was awakened from the nightmare by a smiling conductor:  “This train is delayed.”

I was instructed to alight and wait for the train I had wanted in the first place.  When it came, its performance was eerily similar:  roaring and belching fumes as what felt like half an engine struggled to propel its bulk forward.  The feeling is one of being in a car with a shot transmission:  no matter how the engine races, no extra velocity is achieved.

The best thing I can say for this train is that, at time of writing, it has not yet broken down (touch wood… Oh, God, no wood in sight!).  It is 9:55 pm–45 minutes after the train was supposed to reach its destination–and, from the looks of things, we are still within Bangkok city limits.

It looks like the points in this round go to China.  While their sleek, ultra-modern bullet trains gobble up countryside at speeds exceeding 300 km/hr, the buckets of bolts issuing from the Thai capital do not inspire awe so much as pity.

Buddha was onto something

During my travels in Thailand, I have relied upon a Lonely Planet researched in 2009.  It never occurred to me that the guidebook might be out of date roughly two years later–yet almost every day I encounter inconsistencies between its text and my surroundings.  I wouldn’t wish an out-dated guidebook on anyone, obviously.  But, when I’m not swearing about the absence of a bar here, a bookshop there, it provides an interesting insight into the pace of modernization.

A “brand-new” (as of 2009) theater specializing in traditional Thai puppetry proved unprofitable.  By the time of my visit it had closed, its puppets and puppeteers relegated to a dinner show at the Ramayana Restaurant.

Visiting Dusit Palace, I am informed that the twice-daily traditional Thai dance performances no longer take place.

Lonely Planet recommends shuttle buses from the airport to “convenient destinations all over Bangkok.”  “Not anymore,” the woman at the information desk informs me.  It’s an ultra-modern elevated train now.

My book describes the MBK mall as “a street market” with escalators.  Far from it–the MBK of 2012 is a glistening, state-of-the-art shopping facility!  Not only that, but the cost of entrees at the international food court is up 130 percent…

A trend starts to emerge… Bangkok marches toward the future, while traditional performance art falls by the wayside.

In an effort to reverse the trend, Thailand’s Queen Sirikit has styled five modern outfits inspired by traditional dress.  I have no idea whether her suggestions are catching.  But, when traditional culture becomes the queen’s little pet project, I’d say it’s on life support.

But there’s no use mourning the passing of traditional Thai culture.  Waiting for the dinner show at the Ramayana, I struck up a conversation with a German who was also traveling alone.  As it turned out, he was a puppetry aficionado.  He had been visiting Southeast Asia for decades,  he said, and observed the art form everywhere from Myanmar to Malaysia.  In fact, he had attended the unheralded opening of the Bangkok puppetry theater mentioned above.  And, for as long as he’d been visiting the region, traditional performance venues had succumbed to public indifference.

I was surprised by the matter-of-factness with which he described the demise of his favorite diversion.  But when I commented, he made an observation worth repeating:  the world is never the same for any two people.  I suppose Heraclitus was making the identical point when he said, “No man ever steps in the same river twice.”

At the time of the German’s first visit several decades ago, perhaps Thailand was a bit like Myanmar today:  a wild, live-by-your wits experience for Western tourists.  Thirty years from now, Myanmar may be Thailand; Thailand may be Singapore.  Who knows?  Nothing stays the same.

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