I was impressed by Bangkok’s metro system: quiet, clean (its fatally limited reach notwithstanding). That said, let’s move on to my first experience with Thailand’s “long-distance” infrastructure.
At Bangkok’s rail hub, I bought a ticket to Ayutthaya, the ancient capital two hours north (the ticket actually cost less than my taxi fare to the train station, about which I have mixed feelings…). Everything seemed to be in order. However, as I sat in the stifling exhaust of idling trains, the departure time came and went with no locomotive in sight. Forty-five uneventful minutes later, the staff at the info desk estimated the train would be 20 minutes yet. But wait–a ray of hope! A kindly station guard asked where I was going and pointed me toward a Track 6 train–which had the major advantage of actually being at the platform–also going my way. I boarded and was soon underway.
Well… “underway.” The train crawled out of the station at what must have been 10 mph. But, once clear, it did not accelerate as I’d expected. Little track-side sheds, for example, remained in view for a painfully long time. Next, the train fell into a rhythm of stopping completely–with an ear-splitting screech of breaks–every three minutes or so. We would proceed to idle for another three minutes, as car and pedestrian traffic swept by. Half-an-hour into the ordeal, I was quite incredulous that this was considered train service. I was awakened from the nightmare by a smiling conductor: “This train is delayed.”
I was instructed to alight and wait for the train I had wanted in the first place. When it came, its performance was eerily similar: roaring and belching fumes as what felt like half an engine struggled to propel its bulk forward. The feeling is one of being in a car with a shot transmission: no matter how the engine races, no extra velocity is achieved.
The best thing I can say for this train is that, at time of writing, it has not yet broken down (touch wood… Oh, God, no wood in sight!). It is 9:55 pm–45 minutes after the train was supposed to reach its destination–and, from the looks of things, we are still within Bangkok city limits.
It looks like the points in this round go to China. While their sleek, ultra-modern bullet trains gobble up countryside at speeds exceeding 300 km/hr, the buckets of bolts issuing from the Thai capital do not inspire awe so much as pity.